Working Woman

This past week I have again started substitute teaching.  I am trying to work into a regular routine of working 3 days a week.  I am generally torn about this, on one hand I miss hanging out with the boys all day.  On the other hand, I don't have to spend everyday hanging out with the boys.

It seems that my working has solved a lot of Elias' bad behavior.  Apparently, I bore him.  Well no more!  He has entered into the exciting world of daycare where he runs wild with another little boy just his age.  When I pick him up, he and his friend are usually in their underwear, running around with plastic swords or dinosaurs or race cars, or, well, you get the picture.  In fact, the first 3 times I came to pick him up and take him home, I literally had to fireman carry him while he screamed - "I want to live here, I want to live here".  Hmm. good times.

But Mason still loves me.  He cries when I leave and smiles when I come to get him.  Maybe I only need one boy?

As for subbing itself, I actually really like it.  I'm also not too bad at it.  After the first day, I remembered - oh yeah, bring treats! With a little "incentive"  I usually can have a lot of fun with whatever lesson plans have been left.  And let me tell you - lesson plans for subs can be very hit and miss.  It's always a good idea to bring something extra.  Expecially when subbing middle school history classes. Like today, I watched a 50 minute video about Babe Ruth 3 times, one History Channel recording of the "Byzantine Empire" and the first half of the movie "War Games" starring a very young Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy.  I was really glad I had a bag of smarties and a good book.

The Zen of Quilting

I finished a quilt top last night.  Yeah me!  And I am working on blocks for another quilt (that's one of my stars which was inspired by this quilt-along).  I am not too excited yet, it's only a quilt top.  I still need to quilt the darn thing and bind it.  You may need to check back next year for a finished product.

Because the truth is, I am horrible at quilting.  Well not necessarily at quilting itself, just the part where you finish the project.  In fact, this quilt top idea was conceived before Elias was.  

There are several reasons I am not great at finishing projects like this one: having an attention deficit personality disorder being one, the inconvenience of living in a small space being another. In order to sew, I have to actually clean the kitchen table off.  I ask you, besides my mother, who out there with small children and a husband can keep their kitchen table cleaned off? If you can, my hat is off to you.   In addition, I have to take everything out of the closet every time I want to sew, and I have to put everything back before the next meal.  It's a pain.  But wah, wah, wah.  I push past the pain.

Despite my handicaps, I am very drawn to quilting.  When I see what other people have created with color, shape, geometry, symmetry . . . I get so excited and inspired.   I love the idea that small bits of fabric can be carefully crafted into beautiful quilts.  Its art I tell ya, pure and simple.

As I was working on quilt blocks and this quilt top, I realized that quilting had some life lessons for me.  First, the art is in the details.   I tend to be a very impatient person, I am big picture oriented and have a hard time focusing on the details.  This drives Douglas crazy!  But with quilting, so much of the quality of the finished product relies on the details.  If your seam is not exactly 1/4", your blocks will not fit together properly.  If you don't pay attention to sewing right sides together - you're going to have to start over.  It's about precision.

Second, it is all about the process.  It was a really good exercise for me to try and find the zen of quilting and focus on the process rather than the product.  Translation:  I spent a great deal of time picking out stitches and resewing pieces together.  As I went along, I thought of certain rug makers in Africa who weave deliberate mistakes into their work.  The reason behind this?  to remind themselves that only God is perfect.  Amazing!  Can you imagine being good enough to have to make mistakes on purpose?  Not a problem here.  

So the lesson to myself - the sweetness of life is in the details and the process.  And now I promise myself that tomorrow I will take time to really focus on the details of life.  I will think more about my prayers, I will really read my scriptures, I will listen to my children and laugh at them, I mean, with them.  I won't get to see the final product of my life until it's all over - so I may as well slow down and try to make each day as right as I can.  

MUSIC

Hey ya'all. I am really tired of the music I'm listening to. Who are your favorite artists currently?

A LITTLE SOLACE

These lyrics have been running through my mind today.

Where can I turn for peace?
Where is my solace when other sources cease to make me whole?
When with a wounded heart, anger, or malice I draw myself apart, searching my soul?

Where, when my aching grows, where when I languish,
Where, in my need to know, where can I run?
Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?
Who, who can understand?
He, only One.

He answers privately, reaches my reaching in my Gethsemane, Savior and Friend.
Gentle the peace he finds for my beseeching.
Constant he is and kind, Love without end.